WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

Okay, so you all knew that already!



But it really hit me today as I was going through my normal morning rituals; getting Alenna breakfast, changing her diaper, getting her milk, etc. This time in a week we realistically could be the parents of two! All the sleepless nights, sore nipples, DOUBLE the diaper changes, breastfeeding in public.....its all coming like an 18-wheeler right at me. I dunno, it's like you decide to have a baby and than almost a year later it finally happens. Some of me wonders if I really am more prepared to have this baby, having already gone through the experience once before, or will it be like being a new parent all over again? I try to think back on some of the things I wish I had known with Alenna, or things that I have learned, and I'm blanking. I guess at the end of the day, you just deal with the problems as they come, and let the rest sort itself out; no matter what number of kids you have had. I worry that he will be colicky (?), I worry that he won't sleep, I worry that he won't adapt well to my milk, or formula, I worry he won't take a binky. ( Okay, one thing I have to say that I have learned from having Alenna is binkys are worth their weight in GOLD. Right before we had Alenna we were totally the type who looked down in 'binky babies'. I thought we had it ALL figured out. K, the first night we were home and she wouldn't sleep, we threw that thinking right out the window and shoved a binky in her mouth as fast as we could! Just recently, we weaned her off the binky, but I must say, whenever we were in public and she was fussy, or anytime she was fussy for that matter, the binky would remedy that 9 times out of 10. I am a binky believer!)

Mostly though I am really scared for the delivery. Either way this pans out( c-section or vaginal delivery) I am looking at alot of pain. I really am freaking out about it, now that it could happen any day.

I am also freaking out about taking care of them both. I am so freaked out that we will be in public somewhere and I will look down for a second to get the baby something, and when I look back up that Alenna will be gone! I think we are going to invest in a double stroller, just to prevent that EXACT thing from happening!

Still no news about a possible scheduled C-section. I have my appt. tomorrow and that should tell us alot. I'm totally obsessing over it. Ryan thinks that if there is still no news tomorrow (baby hasn't dropped, no progress into labor) that we should wait another week to see if he progresses closer to his due date. That would leave him being born on the 1st, rather than the 25th. My worry is that in putting it off, I will go into labor and need an EMERGENCY C-section, rather than a planned one, which is much more difficult to recover from, and also dangerous for mother and baby. The way I see it is, either we have a safe planned section on the 25th, or a dangerous emergency one in a week while we are waiting to see what my body will do. Its so frustrating to talk to Ry about this, we can't without fighting. Am I crazy, or is a planned one better??? I told him he could have his opinion, but at the end of the day it;s my decision and I expect his support. In the words of Roseanne, "While its in my body the decision is up to me, but you know me, once I drop it out on the table its up for grabs!" I dunno, thoughts?

I also worry cause the twins' custody is transferred this week as well. So, by friday, Nicole and Jonny will probably have full custody of the girls. So, this weekend is going to be rough with them leaving. Dusty is leaving the MTC on Monday (the 25th) and gets to call home. This week is gonna be crazy busy, or at least Monday is! He still hasn't gotten his visa approved through the consulate, and they will probably be shipping him off else where until he can get through. We just hope that he will go somewhere in the mean time where he can practice his Spanish. They have worked so hard to learn the language, hopefully he will get to put it to good use!

Sorry for the novel, I just have alot on my brain!